An Appeal for Community Life

William Stafford, in his poem titled, “A Ritual to Read Each Other”, offers a suggestion to help keep community life flowing at a meaningful depth.  His suggestion is quite simple: Learn to talk to one another to a depth.  In the 4^th stanza of the poem he makes his appeal.

“And so I appeal to a voice, to something shadowy,

a remote important region in all who talk:

though we could fool each other, we should consider-

lest the parade of our mutual life get lost in the dark.”

The appeal made is an earnest request and call to be heard and to know others at a soulful level.

The opening lines of the poem asks us to know ourselves and others, “If you don’t know the kind of person I am and I don’t know the kind of person you are",then, it seems we may fail to arrive as a community. In essence we will fail to be a community.

Perhaps we can apply this poem to church communities.   We can see it as an appeal for each individual to “Speak the truth in love”.  The poem appeals to us to speak to the deeper aspects of our souls;   to speak from and to the, “shadowy, remote important regions”, those places we tend to hide in the shadows.  It is an appeal for authentic dialogue at the level of the soul.

The appeal to soul talk is proposed in contrast to fooling each other with shallow surface babble. Sadly, often church communities are “good” at producing a lot of religious surface babble. “Though we could fool each other we should consider.”  Consider what? We should consider the fact that if we fool one another we “may miss our star”;  “a fragile sequence may break”,  “our mutual life may get lost in the dark”, and we may fall “asleep”.

We should consider- because “the darkness around us is deep”.  

To Cast or Not to Cast? Trying Not to Cast to Big Rainbows on Pueblo's Arkanasas River Tailwater

I fished the Arkansas yesterday and some of those huge rainbows are moving around in the shallows showing their broad sides and beautiful colors. It is spawning time on our rivers. Do we cast to them?  Or do we leave them alone?

I listen to fishing discussions on this topic quite frequently where we try to justify casting to these monsters. Comments such as : “They already spawned”, or, “They are only staging. They are not spawning yet”. Or “The fish was not on the redd,  it was behind it, (or in front of it). Or, “I saw the fish feeding on midges, it was not spawning”;  and on and on.

Truth be told, I am not sure any of these possibilities has any merit or gives us justification. We can say whatever we want but by casting we are messing with these fish. How much we are messing with these fish and what harm is done is difficult to determine.

Even if we admit we are messing with these fish it is still not easy to “not cast”. I do not stand or speak from a high place. I know.  

There is also the ethical issue of considering how hard is it really to get those fish to take a fly when one places the fly on its nose?  Not very hard in my opinion. It is way more challenging to get even a 12 inch fish to take a trico dry fly.

Does it matter if I  mention where they are “staging”?    There are not any secret spots on the Arkansas. Anyone can find them.  It is beautiful to watch huge rainbows laying in a run. And it is wonderful to just know they are there. But to cast? 

My friend Steve Gossage at Covey once told me a story of fishing on a section of river several years back where he spotted a 36 inch rainbow lying on a redd as clear as a rainbow in the sky. The person he was fishing with said to Steve, “Go ahead, cast to it. He will eat it”.

Steve walked away.

Wow! I wish I could be like Steve.

The Fisher King: Little To Do But Fish

I continue to be drawn to the story of The Fisher King.  I wonder what it is about this story of a wounded King that keeps pulling me in.  There are different versions of the story but usually the king is wounded in the legs or groin, and has difficulty moving on his own. When he is injured, his kingdom suffers.  The land becomes infertile, reduced to a barren wasteland.  Knights travel from many lands to heal the Fisher King, but only the chosen one can bring the needed healing.

Recently I got hooked by a little “fishy” detail found in this legend that that has left me pondering. While the king is lame, the story informs us that there is little left for him to do but fish in the river near his castle. I am not sure what to make of this detail. The wounded king can just fish the river all day?  No work? No responsibilities?  No visit to the doctor?  This sounds pretty good especially if there are big trout in the river.

Yet, even being an avid fly fisherman I somehow get the idea that this is not a good situation. Some thing is wrong here. It sounds a bit desperate with the wasteland all around. It sounds a bit aimless in that he is fishing because there is, “little left for him to do”.  I get the feeling that fishing under these circumstances and for this reason is not going to be fulfilling, rich and will not bring the healing he needs.

Fishing simply because there is little left to do does not sound intentional as in Thoreau’s proclamation, “I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately”.  Nor does it sound as passionate as the flyfisher in Yates poem, “The Wandering Aengus”, “I went out to the Hazelwood because a fire was in my head”.  Most importantly it does not sound like the “abundant life” or the “living waters”  of which Jesus spoke.

I guess for me I don’t want to fish simply because there is little else to do. Hopefully there are better reasons to fish.

I also don’t want to fish in an attempt simply to find excitement. Although, I admit that through out my own life, I know it has been my natural tendency to put many things in a place where they should not be. I have made many failed attempts to find life where it is not. Such an approach is like trying to squeeze blood out of a turnip. It usually leaves me feeling lame and does not address my true need for healing.

I want to fish because I have life in me and fishing is a sort of a celebration of that life. I want to fish passionately and intentionally because I have at least begun to experience healing. Perhaps another way of saying this is that I don’t want to “use” fly fishing, or anything or anyone else to make life bearable.   

I choose to wait for the “chosen one” to continue to heal me even as I stand in the river casting and casting to rising forms. I cast and I wait, I wait and I cast. Some of those forms are fish. Others are only shadows. The fish dance while those that are phantoms simply fade away.  

Dream Stream Fly Fishing Report 2/23/13 Riding The Storm Out: Enduring Winter Fishing On the Dream Stream

2/23/2013 Dream Stream Fly Fishing Report.

When I winter fish in South Park I have to be careful to not make mistakes. Dealing with  tangles and re-rigging break-offs can be tough to endure. Hands become dysfunctional quite quickly. Caution must be used to keep gloves dry and clothing dry. A thermos of hot coffee can make the difference along with good clothing. When I go fishing in winter I dress similar to how I would on a ski trip. I also bring an extra rod rigged so that if I do mess up I can just fish my second rod. It is not a good idea to have to rig a rod on the river. Have every thing rigged the night before.

If I can endure the conditions, not make mistakes, and keep my flies in the water, there are fish to be caught on the dream stream.  And until the spawn starts the crowds are not here. Nice to fish the dream stream virtually alone.

Today my friend and I caught a fair number of good fish on apricot/orange pegged eggs and size 22 RS2’s along with small Zebra midges of several colors. Most of the fish were Browns in the 15-17 inch range. We each “almost” landed a big fish in excess of 22 inches but for each one of us, the hook pulled out.  I even saw a good number of fish rising to midges. If I had brought along a dry fly rod rigged and ready with a small dry, I think I could have hooked up on dry fly fishing. Small black midges were hatching and many of the bugs could be seen on the snow banks along the river.

We met another guy on the river who was new to the area and was fishing the river for the first time. He was catching fish also. At one point he asked me I these fish ever hit streamers. I told him, “Sure, sometimes… Give it a shot. Show them something different”. He tied on a large double hook streamer fly that looked something like a drowned rat, with yellow metal eyes.  Within 5 minutes he had  two strong “attacks” to the fly. Interesting! That got my attention.

Storm clouds could be seen dumping snow over Hoosier Pass. Good to see. More water for the South Platte. But this storm was coming our way. One does not mess around with winter in South Park. The  wind was already picking up and the temperature was dropping. No time for mistakes. Time to get out. Time to ride the storm out.

Fly Fishing Report Pueblo's Arkansas River Tail-water

2/16/2013

I stand ankle deep in the Arkansas River near the nature center.. 

The Arkansas River tailwater remains  a skinny line of water moving through Pueblo. It reminds me of some of the skinny snow runs I have maneuvered down on my tellemark skis this winter. Skinny snow runs now will mean even skinnier waters later.We still need snow. We still need water. The fish need a bigger river.

I fished today with my guide friend Ron. We guided together for years and years. We tended to often see things the same way. It is meaningful to fish with people when you both see eye to eye.

Probably the most important issue that Ron and I share is the pace that we now fish. No need to haste. No need to catch "tons" of fish. No need to "catch as many as we can".  No need to fish all day.  No need to sit on one hole all day. A slow walk along the river stopping here and there and making some casts. Ta;lking. Looking. Catching a few here and there. 

I think in the end more of us should learn to fish in this manner. We don't know how and if these fish are going to hold up in these skinny waters. The river is crowded. If the weather patterns does not change these fish will be stressed for another season. A whole other year.  

The fish we caught took the usual fly patterns. A size 16 green thorax bead head Pheasant tail nymph and a size 22 gray RS2. We could have caught more fish and if we stayed longer we would have probably had to change flies. But why?

Let the skinny water flow. Let the fish go.

2/9/2013 Dream Stream Fly Fishing Report

Jon Kleis and I along with our 4 guests found good fishing today on the famous South Platte "Dream Stream" section. We found relatively "mild" weather for the first several hours and the fishing was quite good. Strangely apricot eggs were the best producer along with a few midge patterns such as black beauties and red midges. And even more strange, we had the river mostly to ourselves. The fish were still in "winter mode" holding in the slower deeper runs. Strikes were very subtle.

We could see the thick bands of  storm clouds moving in over the mountains while we were fishing. But there was enough action through out the morning that it was difficult to give too much attention to the approaching storm. And then it hit!  Strong winds with snow seemed to drop the temperature 25 degrees. Fish were still striking during the blizzard  conditions but it was time to get out. But what a morning!

Maintaining Connection While Playing a Fish: Staying Connected In Relationships

"For it is important that awake people be awake, or a breaking line may discourage them back to sleep; the  signals we give-yes or no, or maybe-should be clear: the darkness around us is deep". William Stafford.

Every time I battle a big fish or watch someone else do battle, I am aware of the precarious position of the fly fisher. There is often a fine line between being able to net the fish and losing the fish. Too much tension and the fish breaks free. Not enough tension and the fish throw’s the hook.

I and other fly fishers often make a lot of mistakes while battling fish.

I think these fine lines that are often crossed, broken or maintained while battling fish, can parallel our dialogue in relationships with others.  In relationships, a certain kind of “tension” or “contact” must be maintained to keep the relationship and communication moving forward and growing. And here too indeed there are fine lines.  If we rush our words, ideas, and perspectives on others, or get angry, often the relationship stops growing and in a way, “breaks off”,. Or we are aloof and indifferent. with a shrug of the shoulders,  "A shrug that lets the fragile sequence break". All it takes is a subtle glance away or of disgust or disapproval or being overly forecful. The opportunity is lost.

But we can also do and say too little during times of potential relational growth. We can let go of all our own intentions and take little initiative and in a sense, betray ourselves for as the poet says, "There is many a betrayal in the mind".  Our own intentions and our words can sort of just drift away from us as we merely conform to the ideas of others. We break the tension by just going along.

Any meaningful relationship is a give and take and exchange of honest dialogue. This exchange is all  part of the delicate balance to maintain contact. As is true in the art of conversation and in much of fly fishing, timing is everything. There is a time to act and speak and there is a time to be still and listen. 

I know I let potential conversations die out. Sometimes it is easy for me to understand what went wrong just as it is easy to understand what happens when I put too much pressure on a fish or not maintain proper tension. Sometimes I get a feeling right in midst of the conversation, “No, don’t say that”, or “Not now” or “Just be quiet now”.  Or, sometimes I know that to simply ask a polite question rather than making another statement is just what is needed to maintain the tension. At other times, a strong statement may be needed. It depends. There is timing. There are fine lines, just as there are fine lines in maintaining a fish on the end of the line. And often I break those fine lines.

And when it comes to conversing with our loved ones; our family members, these can be the most precarious of all situations. To maintain contact in these situations can be touchy and requires patience and art.

Today, I took two friends fishing on Pueblos Arkansas River. As is often the case, fish were landed and fish were lost.  Fine lines were maintained and some fine lines were broken.

Hopefully, more importantly, the fine lines of our relationships were maintained.