A Man Lost By A River
There is a voice and a music,
A throbbing, four chambered pear
That wants to be heard, that sits
Alone by the river with its mandolin
And it’s torn coat, and sings
For whomever will listen
A song no one wants to hear.
(by Michael Blumenthal )
I do believe that God puts a new song in our heart. He gives us a voice to speak to the Christian community and for the world. He gives us truth and we are asked to speak the truth in love. But, Jesus also warned us about the cares of this world getting in the way of our growth and faith and living authentically. Jesus warned us to be careful to not love the approval of men more than the approval of God. But, why?
There are many valid answers to this question but I would like to suggest an answer from a slightly different perspective. Quite simply, if our priorities are messed up and we seek the approval of others above all else, then most likely it will be too difficult for us to speak the truth. If our number one priority is to have the approval of men then it is unlikely that we will be able to be like the man lost by the river as the poem suggests. It is unlikely that we will be able to speak from the heart, that four chambered pear that wants to be heard, that sits alone by the river with its mandolin and his torn coat. It is unlikely we will have the courage and strength to be able to sing our song for whoever will listen and that no one wants to hear.
If we want the approval of men above all else then we better learn to put our mandolin away and not sing our song or speak from the heart because most often people do not want to hear the truth. They would not approve of it or of us. So, we better get a new coat for the sake of appearances, get out of the river and go sit somewhere in a high place where we will be seen and have their approval.
But to live primarily for the approval of others is to not only deny the truth but to live a lie. It is sort of like gaining the whole world and yet losing one’s soul and we may never know if we had to the heart to say what no one wanted to hear.
You are a master at bringing to life really important, yet tough, issues. I find that I am sometimes steeped in the desire to receive the approval of others. But I would so like it to be otherwise: to stand on my own principles, embrace my uniqueness even if that places me outside the "in crowd", or being brave enough to "say what no one wanted to hear". High School is the time in life when this comes to the forefront; however, the clicks and the social pressures continue on into adulthood and the professional realm.
ReplyDeleteInstead, approval, acceptance, and the need to be loved can interfere. Maybe you are right, you can lose your soul...
...and yet if one can speak from the heart and sing our song, what freedom that would be.
-L
I do have a peculiar sensitivity to "conforming" to the "crowd", which probably could mean that I do my own share of conforming and I do not like that about myself, (A projection). As much as I talk against trying to please others I still do my share. I guess we all do. However,like you, I still strive to be free from such a need. There is a profound one liner from Soren Kierkegaard which often runs through my mind: "The crowd is the lie". I do know that when I started this blog I made a sort of commitment to do my best to speak the truth, to only write about topics that were true to me and to not try to please anyone. As I wrote, I took a certain satisfaction in writing with depth and not caring if I got feedback. The joke to my wife and dear friends is that I am writing to .0000000001 percent of the population. So be it.
ReplyDeleteYour readership may be much larger than you realize. Maybe there are only a few people, like myself, that take the time to dialogue.
ReplyDeleteYour wife and friends may joke you regarding the audience size of your blog, but as you say, that's not the point. I presume in part your writing is cathartic and in part you are sharing your gifts with others. If you reach even a handful of people and make a difference, is that not enough?
-L
Correct. That is not the point. And yes it is cathartic to write. It is not so much I want to "reach" others (sounds a bit arrogant to me, but I know what you mean), but itis more of just wanting to dialogue, w/others to a depth. I think I was clear from the beginning, in earlier posts asking, "Anyone out there want to talk? Anyone else feel they are on an edge?
DeleteAnyone else feel they stand and live in those 'inbetween' places? "Anybody else not belong? Anybody else hoping for more out of life"? etc. So, in some sense I am a bit selfish in my motives perhaps. Just recently, my friend and minister, Dave told me about a book, "The Underground Church", which I would like to read (even the title grabs me). In it, among other things, he says that for a church community to properly interpret the scriptures they should have a poet in the midst. I do not consider myself a poet in a true sense but I think I have a poetic heart. So, the thought makes sense to me. For whatever the reasons it seems that soulful poetic individuals interpret life, scriptures and just about everything, differently (but not better, just different) and these differences are needed and should be discussed in church communities. Here I go again with what "should be" happening. So it must be time to load up my skis and climb a mountain which is exactly what I am going to do.
And yes, I also remember thinking that precisely; "If one person gets something out of anything that I have written then it was worth it". And so I thank you for your positive feedback and dialogue.
ReplyDeleteThe answers to your questions above (and from earlier posts) are yes, yes, yes, and yes.
DeleteMore on that later.
The book sounds intriguing. I am going to look into it. It is clear you have a poetic sense. That, and your honest, heartfelt essays are what draws me. And, the questions you pose that so few people will delve into...
-L
And, of course I like the way you inter-weave fly fishing with life and Christianity ...
ReplyDelete-L
Well, I find comfort in knowing there are others out there. I think there are others, perhaps many others, but for various reasons will not express their dis-ease. Another book that helps me and I am rereading again is "The Heart Aroused" (Poetry and the preservation of the soul in Corporate America) by David Whyte. I find it applies to many areas of life, not just work (I do not know your work). He writes, "If we are discouraged by the alienation of the contemporary workplace we might take comfort from a long-held belief that the souls journey begins when it realizes the true nature of its aloneness, that it has in effect been orphaned and must discover its true parentage". I don't know Mr. Whyte, or what he believes but I don't think he is writing from a Christian perspective and yet I think his comments apply in a profound way. I do believe we are "resident aliens", and that in a sense we are spiritually orphans, the swans that ended up living in a world of ducks. In one of my blog posts I write about the poem by W. Stafford, where it describes a person feeling the alienation from the start, "If you were exchanged in the cradle and your mother died" and then later, the person finds him or herself on a corner in the shivering rain and watching the people walk by and wondering at their calm,... They miss the whisper that runs through your mind every day asking, 'Who are you really wanderer' and the answer you have to give no matter how cold and dark and dreary around you is, ...'maybe I'm a king'. So again, we see this theme of not quite belonging but at the same time being 'more' inside. There is divine royalty flowing in our veins. Perhaps. Someone might argue, "But Anthony, are you not loved by God. Is he not your Father"? Well, yes, that is true but I think to know this truth deeply in our souls we have to perhaps first lose our way and know how alone we are in the world. Such great truths do not come so easy.
ReplyDeleteI will get back to you soon. I am reading The Underground Church. And I will read the post on the Fisher King soon.
ReplyDelete-L
I look forward to reading your thoughts on the book. I still need to get a copy but you can give me a preview. I do think I will like it as a major theme is the need for the church to be counter cultural instead of just "going along".
ReplyDeleteJust about finished. Lot's to discuss.
ReplyDeleteMore commentary very soon.
-L
Well, You are way ahead of me. I need to get the book. But in the mean time I would love to hear your thoughts. I also just posted a new short essay titled, "Following the Wrong Elephant: A Few Thoughts on Church Life", where we can continue some dialogue on this topic. Maybe others will join in also. So please move this dialogue to that post.Thank You.
ReplyDelete