Letting Go of That One Trophy Fish of the Past: Christian Men's Issues

Sometimes we live in the past holding on to our one moment of glory; “Glory days," as  Springsteen sang.

In sports it might be the game we won with a 9^th inning home-run,  or the 3 point shot at the buzzer. In fishing, it might be a trophy trout we caught 20 years ago. In acting it might be one part we played in a performance ages ago. 

Living in the glory days of the past can be one way men stay stuck and not grow up.

This idea was played out as a minor theme in an otherwise very funny romantic comedy called “Along Came Polly.” In the movie a man named Sandy (played by Philip Seymour Hoffman), is a washed up actor who years ago had his one moment of glory in one scene where he played bag pipes. In the movie, decades later we see Sandy struggling to play a part in a play but he just can’t let go of his past accomplishment. He simply can’t get along with the other actors. He tries to dominate by playing two parts at once. He keeps saying, “I’m a professional, and I am not going to put my reputation on the line for a group of freakin amateurs”. He feels he is better than everyone else and feels this role is under him. He just won’t let go. Finally, toward the end of the movie an older man named Irving, serves as a sort of “wise elder”, and sets Sandy right. These are the only words that Irving says the entire movie but finally Sandy understands and is able to move on. Irving says, “It’s always the same story with you, huh pal? You did this one movie a hundred years ago. From then on you thought you were better than everybody else. Why don’t you let go? Move on with your life?  It’s not about what happened in the past and you know what? When you least expect something great comes along”.

These are powerful words and Sandy needed to hear them. But, the real punch line comes in Irving’s closing words. He acknowledges what Sandy did a hundred years ago saying,  “You were funny as hell playing those bagpipes though. Did I ever tell you that”?  Sandy responds, “I don’t think I ever heard you speak before”.

To me, in the midst of this comedy, this part reflects a sad truth for many of us. Unspoken words. Unspoken praise. Unspoken admiration. Unspoken recognition where it is due.  Robert Bly once said, “If you are a younger man and you don’t have the admiration of older men, you are being wounded”.

Granted, Along Came Polly is only a fictional comedy but all it took was those simple words of admiration, “You were funny as hell playing those bag pipes though”, and Sandy is able to let go of the past and move on. In essence, he grows up. Sometimes some simple words of praise are all we want and we can let go and move on.

I  know many men who sit around talking about old glory days. I have participated in such discussions. I can’t help but wonder what admiration from some significant man in our lives would have been necessary for us to move on and grow up. And I wonder if it can still happen even now.

And then maybe as fly fishermen, we would stop bragging about some fish we caught a hundred years ago, or how we still have to go on and on about how many fish we catch every day.. It is time to move on and we just don’t know what might come along; what wonderful fish we might just hook in to.