Casting In-between Seasons: Fall/Winter Transition

I feel the shift inside me every late Fall. The shift is a restlessness as I try orient myself seasonally. When I fish this time of year I feel I am casting in-between two seasons. I am not sure where I belong. The geese over head are moving south. I am here; caught in-between.

The harsh cold wind and snow this morning intensifies my disorientation. The cold and snow reminds me that it is no longer summer. Perhaps it is no longer Fall. Yet, it is not quite winter.  It is a  season in-between and I am caught in-between.

I often feel "in-between." I am often in-between various groups of people. I am not at ease sitting in church among the religious nor am I at ease among those who claim there is no God.

At a deeper level, and in a more general sense, this time of year, I feel more spiritually sensitive to my "questionable" belonging. I feel more aware of being "Soaked in exile," uncertain of where I belong. Who are my people? Where is my place?

I recently reread Clarissa Pinkola Estes, "Women Who Run With Wolves," the section on "Belonging." I believe it is in chapter six. She talks about "The Ugly Duckling," wandering trying to find his place, family and his community. She goes on to describe this story as a "Root, spiritual story." Coming to terms with this story, is of vital importance in our spiritual, emotional and psychological growth. Estes says if we do not understand this story and come to terms with it, true growth is questionable. Understanding a root story is fundamental to our growth just as a basic cast is fundamental to developing our fly fishing techniques

The orphan archetype is powerful and this same archetype is a powerful theme of the Bible. We see God's people wandering the Earth as "aliens and strangers." We also see it in Jesus, but many Christians prefer to see Jesus differently. We tend to prefer the Jesus of the "Prosperity Gospel;" The Jesus that hands out blessing in the forms of cash and town-homes on golf courses. That Jesus is a fun and popular guy. 

Certainly an argument could be made that if a person is completely alienated in his/her world, then something is wrong or out of balance. I can accept that argument. There is at least some truth there.
However are we aware of how the world offers us so many consolations, pills and thrills, and clubs that can distract us from feeling any kind of legitimate spiritual alienation? Are we open to how we almost absolutely refuse to feel any form of alienation?  

Rather than blocking out and masking all kinds alienation we should ask ourselves a question: What does it mean if we never feel somewhat out of place in this world, if we never feel as though we are wanderers who can't quite fit in, if we never feel alienated in a world in which we are "constantly glimpsing God, and feeling our whole nature still soaked in exile?"

If that is the reality of the human spiritual condition. If it is true that we are the "Ugly Ducklings," of the world, wandering in search of our true place,  then perhaps we should be feeling at least some of that exile and feeling somewhat lost.

And then perhaps we should start paying some attention to the beautiful swans over head that might be calling to us.