"Many men go fishing all their lives without knowing that it is not the fish they are after" (Thoreau).
When I go to the mountains, the river, the woods I get the feeling that “something” can happen. I can’t say that is why I go. In fact, most of the time I am not looking for anything and nothing extraordinary happens. But something could.
When I go to the mountains, the river, the woods I get the feeling that “something” can happen. I can’t say that is why I go. In fact, most of the time I am not looking for anything and nothing extraordinary happens. But something could.
I am past the age of being a thrill seeker looking for an
adrenalin rush. I don’t need to ski off cliffs. I don’t need to catch the
biggest fish or a certain number. It is
something else that I seek. In fact, the more I look for thrills or some number of fish
that defines “success”, or even the more I look for the “something”, the more it eludes me. Then,
more than likely, I miss the “something”.
However, at least for me, I get the sense that this “something” that
might happen will most likely occur when I visit wild places such as trout streams. I am quite
certain that this something won’t happen while I am sitting on the couch
watching TV and especially not while watching a football game.
So, I often go to the mountain, the river the woods. Most
often nothing happens. But something could. Therefore, maybe I can at least try to show up now and then.
Something could happen.
That's one reason I like the river, the mountain, the woods; there's always a chance for the unexpected, the "something can happen" as you say. You quote Thoreau regarding why men go fishing. Can you elaborate on that quote? Our very own John Gierach said "Fly fishing is solitary, contemplative, misanthropic, scientific in some hands, poetic in others, and laced with conflicting aesthetic considerations. It is not even clear if catching fish is actually the point." So, why is it that some of us fish all our lives?
ReplyDeleteI don't like to be simplistic but I believe ultimately I am seeking a glimpse of God. This is strange though because at times I am not really aware of what I am doing; I am just focused on the fish I see in the river perhaps ready to take the fly. But just because I am single-minded (and at times, "simple minded") and not particularly looking for God in those moments does not mean that He is not present or seeking me. My words here are breaking down as I try to communicate some thing that is un-sayable. I think there is some truth in some of those old Zen sayings. "After enlightenment, the rivers and the mountains are just the rivers and the mountains" (my paraphrase). I think we come full circle. I don't know , but I do know I don't like it when I "try" (too hard) to have some kind of spiritual experience while fishing (I would rather :just" fish) and yet I also do not like it when I don't consider the very real possibility that "something could happen", and this hope requires some kind of faith. I am cynical /skeptical of experiences but at the same time not so cynical that I don't believe "something" is possible. One time I was running up Barr trail in a spring snow storm, big flakes were falling all over and I was catching the flakes in my mouth. I thought of the flakes as "approaching moments" and I had a small hope that anyone of those flakes could be the next moment when the kingdom of God enters my world.and my space and my little earthly reality even if I did not know what that kingdom would look like or feel like. It is kind of different to think of it as "The kingdom of God is ABOUT to be among you" , that God approaches me and can "meet" me at any moment . Perhaps such a "meeting" in all the possible different forms is what I seek.
ReplyDeleteI know that I focus on the fish when I'm on the river. The moment of truth (am I worthy and astute enough to enter into a relationship with this beautiful creature) is when the "take" occurs. Wow! What a moment! Whether it's the strike detected by an indicator (lame) or the tug on a streamer (addictive), or, the ultimate, the sipping of a dry fly (the ultimate high)...that's the great moment.
ReplyDeleteI will later respond to the message above but for now, on a side note, did you see the sun rise this morning? That was "something". We were running under it and it just started to happen all around us. A glimpse of something???? So glad I was outdoors and not inside listening to the morning news.
ReplyDeleteI too have often described the "take" as being something that borders on the mystical (at least at times). And I often argued over the years that there is something strangely spiritual about being so focused while fishing; staring at the fish and fly and trying to detect a take. The focus is at the very least therapeutic (how can you think of what is nagging you while so focused?). There is also something child -like about fishing and a return to simplicity and innocence and and perhaps there is something spiritual about being as a child .... "Unless you become like a child you will not see the kingdom ...." So, while there is something about just fishing and staying focused on "one thing", I also wonder at the same time about my response to what is revealed to me even if it is only a glimpse (Does not God "call" us in some way, and reach to us and ask us for a response to all the beauty???). I somehow think it is continually important to say "yes" to what I might perceive as a "call" of sorts. I also think of the teaching stating, "Those who seek will find, and those who knock, the door will be opened". So, I wonder if I am accountable to seek and respond in some very real way inside my heart. If someone "only" fishes, and does not think and wonder where all this beauty came from then ....?????? I am not sure what to think??? Being truly human seems to me to mean we are more than fishermen and It is not just the fish we are after. What do you think?
ReplyDeleteI think that we who fly fish are experiencing something far more than catching fish. I believe that we are there to experience beauty, and to drink of that beauty. But, we want more. As CS Lewis said in The Weight of Glory, "We do not want merely to see beauty, though, God knows, even that is bounty enough. We want something else which can hardly be put into words-to be united with the beauty we see, to pass into it, to receive it into ourselves, to bathe in it, to become part of it." That's part of our search, and perhaps why we explore the unknown of what's below the surface...a trout? It's a great metaphor for our search for true beauty, what I call transcendence into something far bigger than ourselves. Perhaps, the Love of God and fitting into the role we were meant to play from the beginning.
ReplyDeleteWell said! I could not agree more! I too have often felt, "I want more" or "I long for more" and "My own heart always exceeds what is plainly in front of me". I love the metaphor of "some thing" being below the surface of the waters we fish and it touches something deep in our hearts. "We are grasped by what we cannot grasp". CS Lewis also used the metaphor of a door; the idea that our whole lives we have a sense that we have been on the other side of some door (Perhaps not ever permitted to fully open or pass through??) and how this feeling of being closed off is "No mere neurotic fantasy but the truest index of our real situation". But yes, Dr Trout, your words capture so many of the same thoughts /feelings I have, That sense of wanting to be united with the beauty, to drink it and be part of something that we know is so much more bigger than our little lives. Yes, to "bathe into it" perhaps is what I was desperately tried to describe in my adventures to the "womb of the forest" and how I feel, at times, the weight of the forest and sky and snow upon me. Do we all long to be "enclosed" by God, which we project toward being enclosed by the water and the sky or whatever? And yes, the role and place we were meant to play and be from the beginning (as you said). Thanks again for your thoughts.
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