Fly Fishing Within the Kingdom: Who Am I?

Jesus said that the kingdom of God is within. Perhaps we can think of this teaching as also meaning that when we allow the kingdom of God to manifest it self within us, that we are then living in the kingdom.

So, what would it be like to fly fish within the kingdom of God? What would I be like?  Who would I be?

While I know in many ways I would still be “me” I also tend to think I would be “more”. Over the years I have been vaguely aware that there is a more whole “me” somewhere. This is someone who is not injured, angry, impatient and jaded.

I often think of this “me” as the one who sometimes walks beside me, but I do not see. This is the one I most often forget and yet sometimes visit.  Some might call this “other” a spiritual twin, a child of God, the inner beloved, or the true divine self of God being within. This is the one who walks in the kingdom of God, and even now, on occasion, walks beside me.  

Words and names and places and time frames do not matter. 

I just know that when I allow this “other” to manifest within me that I find myself being more kind to other fly fishers on the river. I find myself being more patient and helpful. I make room for people on the river.  I walk where I would normally not walk to give a fly away. I share what I know with others. I am more forgiving of the mistakes and mishaps of others. I can better remain calm and silent when I or my client breaks a big fish off.  This is the one who remains thankful,  joyful and hopeful.  

Who is this? 

I usually can’t see him but sometimes I visit with him briefly.

I never got his name.

Yet it somehow helps me to know he is there. It helps me to know that “I” at least on occasion, can walk an extra mile, forgive gently, and remain quiet and calm. It helps me to know that this other one, this one that is both “me” and not me, sometimes walks in the kingdom of God as he should.

Soon, I hope to fish with him again and watch him. I think it is important that I can still see him on occasion. I hope I should never lose sight of him.

The poem by Juan Jimenez titled, “I Am Not I”, describes this “other” precisely:

    I am not I.

    I am this one

    walking beside me whom I do not see,

    whom at times I manage to visit,

    and whom at other times I forget;

    who remains calm and silent while I talk,

    and forgives, gently, when I hate,

    who walks where I am not,

    who will remain standing when I die.