Brutal Facts: Calling It Like It Is. Honesty In Guiding and Communities

Sometimes when you are fly fishing and you make a bad cast it is better to just call it what is. Something like, “Well, that’s not even close. That was terrible”. Or, sometimes with some sarcasm you might say, “Nice cast you only missed by 20 feet”. Then regroup and try again knowing the brutal fact of how badly you messed it up.

I remember years ago reading the quote from Jim Collins. He said, “First, we have to look at the brutal facts”. I like this idea.  There is something about direct brutal honesty in regard to where we are at that is “clean” and powerful. Call it like it is.  We can grow from such honesty.

Besides poking fun of myself when I make a bad cast or do something stupid in life, I even sometimes say such “brutal” things to my clients. “Now, what were you thinking when you slapped the line and fly on the water”? We laugh. Often such honesty is appreciated and trusted but of course like most things in life, discretion has to be used.  And jokingly casting such brutal facts is also a bit of an art similar to the art of delicately landing a dry fly above a trout in shallow clear water. 

I find that often in life instead of being honest and direct we dance around the truth. Consider the corporate work world. David Whyte in, “The Heart Aroused” describes how a friend working for a big corporation had to respond to a presentation by an important CEO. Everyone in the room had to cast a number from 0-10 on what they thought of the proposed plan. So, they went around the room. One by one, each person gave the proposal a ten even though everyone knew this project was a zero. His friend listened and considered the proposal.  In his heart he knew this plan would not work. It came time for him to cast his vote and like a little mouse he squeaked out, “ten”. 

We waste a lot of time squeaking like mice.

Often when it comes to our families and communities we don’t say what we really think. Many church communities are particularly good at pretending. The poet William Stafford calls such pretending cruel,

“Although we can fool each other we should consider” . . .

 “I consider it cruel and perhaps the root of all cruelty to know what occurs but not recognize the fact”. 

We pretend we don’t see the fact. We know what occurs but we don’t recognize it as a brutal fact. Such pretending only makes for a rather cruel situation as we remain lost in the dark. The power of the individual and his possible role and contribution to the community is lost.