On The Edge: Living, Falling, Remaining.

There is an edge to life. When it comes to preserving the inner soul there seems to be a life and death aspect to much of life. Maybe this is just how life is or, has to be so that we don’t fall asleep and die in numbness.We have to be aware of these edges, approach them, and then make decisive choices.

Often, in work, family and our communities, to merely go along with others when in our heart we know we cannot, is to experience a death of sorts. It is a double edged sword. If we say nothing we are going to have to ‘live’ with our self, (and the dead abandoned aspects of our self), and the compromises we had to make internally.  But if we say something we may find our self alone and maybe even in need of a new job.

Joseph Campbell was fond of quoting a Hindu text, “A dangerous path is this, like a razors edge”, and describes how Lancelot while trying to rescue Guinevere had to cross over a river crawling with bare hands and feet on a swords edge. A dangerous path indeed. The true spiritual life journey has an edge to it. It is difficult to get too comfortable while walking on that edge.

I guess the trick is to know when to walk that edge and be willing to take your chances. I know when fly fishing I have to play the edge. But, life is more than fishing. More is at stake. A dangerous path is this, a razors edge.

I think the place I really feel this razors edge is when I try to draw near to God and ask, “God, where are you”?  It feels a bit uneasy for me to acknowledge the all too common experience of the absence of God and yet to remain in this vulnerable place. A dangerous place indeed.

 I may even be brought to the place where I dare to ask, “My God, my God, why has thou forsaken me”?  And yet still find myself believing, by faith, that he has not forsaken me. And again, to just remain, waiting, even when nothing changes. 

I also then wonder what it might mean to not feel the loneliness and sharpness of this edge and to never ask the question.