Can Our Own Happiness Actually Make Us Unhappy?

 “Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted”.

Jesus says we are happy (blessed) when we mourn. Leave it to Jesus to turn things upside down. We are dealing with a paradox. It is difficult to understand. It seems to be counter intuitive and counter cultural.

It is difficult to understand because we are constantly told by our culture to be happy. And we are constantly told how to be happy and that we should be happy. It is one of those entitlements that is part of the culture.

It is difficult to not keep trying to be happy. I think we do our share of pretending. It is kind of difficult to be a party pooper when everyone else around is so happy (or so it seems). It is even more difficult to consider what Jesus meant about mourning as we keep trying to be happy according how the culture wants us to be happy. We rarely challenge the culture.  I am not sure we even know how to challenge the culture.

I think Jesus was challenging the culture when he said, “Blessed (Happy) are those who mourn”. This challenging paradox causes me to consider that perhaps my own happiness can block me from a deeper more true happiness.  As a Christian I have to realize that I am not exempt from the cultures attempts to make me happy.  I too can allow a superficial happiness to permeate my being. Happiness can become a sort of idol.

Regardless of what exactly Jesus meant when he told us to mourn it seems to be difficult for us to put aside our own happiness to feel any form of loneliness or sadness, let alone mourning. It seems we need the “feel good” kind of happiness to function day to day.   The issue is even more complex because at the same time it often seems that the church is pretty good at offering a religious form of superficial happiness. This superficial happiness insulates us from deep spiritual mourning.

But even if we wanted to mourn how would we mourn? What do we genuinely  mourn about?  Why mourn in the midst of a “be happy” culture whether it be society at large or the church?

I think a good starting place is to try to be honest with ourselves. Perhaps we grieve over how much time, money, and energy, (and a certain level of insanity) we have put into trying to be happy. Perhaps we can be honest enough to know that our own attempts at being happy have failed.  In some sense, dare to admit that we are not all that happy. Maybe, we can get to the point where we can admit that what the culture offers us really does not make us happy or perhaps bolder still, to question if happiness is even the goal and a realistic expectation.  And when we find our selves not very happy, maybe we can refuse to superficially be cheered up. Instead, maybe we can mourn. Intentionally mourn.

I get a sense that the quiet blessed place of mourning where we are alone in Gods silence and comfort (and in a sense alone in the world) is not the same happy place we are offered from this culture.

Blessed are those who mourn.