There are certain waters the fly fisher encounters that are difficult to fish. There are many different types of troubled waters. There are far too many for me to describe and try to prescribe an exact technical plan for each. The fly fisher just has to accept the challenge and go about trying to problem solve each situation. Such problem solving can be some of the most rewarding experiences in fly fishing. But sometimes we need some help from others such as a guide, a father, a friend or a brother.
In “A River Runs Through It”, there is a lightly humorous and tender scene where Norman is catching fish after fish. This is quite rare for Paul to deal with since he is the master fly fisher. Eventually Paul succumbs and finally asks Norman, “What are they biting on”? Does not every fly fisher relish the moment when someone asks what you are using to catch so many fish? Norman pretends to not hear as he wants to savor this moment for all it is worth. Paul repeats the question, “What are they biting on”? Norman yells back, “I can’t hear you. Say it louder”. Norman enjoys a few minutes of glory before telling Paul that they are biting on stoneflies.
If only relationships were so easy and light hearted. If only we could just yell across the river to a friend or family member who might need our help to tie on a stonefly or to just do such and such. Communication on the river between fly fishers can be marvelous but relationships in real life can be much more difficult and complicated. These are the troubled relational waters of life and I have yet to find a place on earth where they do not exist.
Through out the novel, Norman struggles with trying to communicate with Paul. He thinks again and again about trying to ask Paul if he needs help. Norman thinks, “Should or shouldn’t I speak to my brother”? This wavering reminds me of Hamlet. Norman stutters and wavers but often cannot get out the words. And then when he finally does say something to Paul, it is awkward, perhaps mistimed and the words and the offer to help seem to miss Paul. And at the same time, Paul seems unable to receive the offer. He seems to reject the offer stubbornly insisting he can take care of things on his own. But sadly, and tragically he cannot. Norman concludes, “He did not want my big brother advice or money or help and in the end I could not help him”.
Toward the end of the novel we see Norman and his father, the Reverend Maclean, wrestling with this issue. Each one struggles to know if there was something more they could have done. The Father asks Norman, “Do you think I could have helped him”? Norman answers with the same question to his father, “Do you think I could have helped him”? And then Norman writes, “We stood waiting in deference of each other. How can a question be answered that asks a lifetime of questions”?
We also see in the novel how difficult it is to truly know another person. We see how difficult it can be to be close to another person even those we should be close to. The Reverent Maclean would ask Norman again and again, “Are you sure you told me everything”? (About Paul and his death). Norman responds, “If you really push me, all I really know is that he was a fine fisherman.” And in the very end, Norman realizes with his father, “It is those we live with and love and should know who elude us,” But, “We can still love completely without complete understanding”.
I am not sure what to make of all this but it does sound like there are some complications and misunderstandings in even the seemingly best of relationships. Sometimes we assume that Christians are somehow exempt from such troubled waters. But we are not. Relationships can be just as difficult and troubled for us as they were for the Macleans and the waters we fish will also have challenges.
If I could put into a few lines what I have learned from this Maclean story, my own 25 years of guiding experiences, and what I have learned in my relationships as a father, husband, brother, friend, teacher, counselor, it would be these simple words. When we encounter troubled waters on the river and in our relationships (and know that we will), it seems to be a good practice and starting point to simply move forward toward the person, problem or fish. Don’t back off and walk away. Yes, it is difficult, but walk forward.
And if you step forward, and hopefully you don’t scare someone off who you love, you just never know; That big brown trout lying in the most troublesome spot, across in a back eddy on the far bank, just might take what you offer it. Perhaps. You at least have to try.
Step forward and cast.
If you would like to dialogue with Anthony about this essay feel free to post your thoughts on this blog or email me at suragea1@aol.com
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