My own faith is sometimes strengthened by not dismissing other rational options
for why I believe as I do.
I consider the possibility that my faith might simply be
wishful thinking on my own part. Maybe it is simply a defense mechanism. Maybe
life seems too harsh to not believe in something beyond myself.
Or maybe when I think I feel God, it is simply the good
feeling I get from seeing a beautiful sunrise or from any other pleasant
experience and it has nothing to do with what we call “God”. What I feel as “God” is merely my projection.
Or maybe when I look at life events and it seems like they
have occurred in some divine sequence and for some divine reason, I have to be open to the possibility that the
events were simply random.
Or maybe I have to be open to the possibility that I am delusional.
There is a wonderful scene in the movie “Contact”. Judy Foster plays the role of a scientist (Ellie)
who has studied and wondered her whole life about other life in the universe.
At the climax of the movie she finds herself being questioned by a panel of
investigators and scientists as she tries to hold on to a wild experience of
having gone on a journey to the center of the galaxy where she encountered
something that was beyond her. But her
story just does not make any rational sense and “strains credibility” as she is
questioned. She is asked:
“So, is it possible that it just did not happen ? She replies, “Yes, I must concede that, as a
scientist, I must volunteer that.” (Those at the hearing gasp at her honesty to
admit that this whole story may not have taken place).
“So, you admit that you do not have a shred of evidence for
your story and that it may just have been a hallucination ? She again, replies firmly, “Yes”.
“And you realize that if you were in our shoes you would be
just as skeptical? She again completely
agrees, “Yes.
After these responses the investigator becomes furious demanding
she withdraw her testimony of having experienced some other world, He yells, “Then why don’t you with draw your
testimony and concede that this journey to the center of the galaxy never took
place”?
With tears she passionately responds, “Because I can’t. I had an experience I can’t prove let alone even
explain. But everything I know as a human being tells me it was real.
Everything that I am tells me it was real. I was given something wonderful that
has changed me forever”.
For me, this honest response and consideration of
challenging my own experiences of the divine, is a process that can lead me to a
deeper and more genuine faith. I have to concede to the possibility that my experiences of the divine could have been
nothing but a delusion. There is the very real possibility that events I credit
to the divine can be nothing more than my own wishful thinking. But, I
know that by considering the possibility of other explanations for my faith
experiences I am remaining authentic and without a "personal agenda", to prove something to others or myself. If I have to ignore certain obvious facts and other possible explanations and basically lie to myself then my faith cannot be very strong or have much integrity to it.
But when I am asked by others (or even by myself) to take back my whole life story and
experience and concede to the argument that
it never happened, like Jody
Foster, I too have to say, “I
can’t”. I can concede to the foolishness
of my faith but I cannot say it never happened. I also have to say, “Everything
I know as a human being tells me it was real; every thing I am tells me it was
real. I was given something wonderful that has changed me forever”.
To me this is being authentic. I can be open to other
possibilities and explanations for my faith experience but that also most
definitely includes the possibility that
some thing wonderful and divine did actually
take place And I too know that I cannot go against “everything I am inside”
in order to not believe.
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